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Santa, here. Just thought I'd let you know what your kids want for Christmas. Look, I've got their letters right here:
Dolls, a doll house, dollhouse furniture, more dolls, electric train set, books, a baseball mitt, a triceratops, a pair of diamond earrings... oh, wait, that was your wife's letter. Where was I? All the usual.
Oh, and a pony.
Hey, I don't make this stuff up! But look, I know how hard it would be to get a pony into your apartment, day in and day out, down the stairs, up the stairs. Where would it sleep? And have you seen the price of hay and oats these days? So listen up, I have an idea, one that usually works just fine:
How about a dog?
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Tiny is easy, intelligent and eager to please so with a little work and some regular exercise she will be a wonderful pet. And she's much smaller than a pony. And already dressed for Christmas!
You can see Tiny at the Countryside Humane Society, 2706 Chicory Road, or call (262) 554-6699.
Or, I could just bring 'em each a pony...
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